Finally, a look at how all the pieces of the model fit together

An example of how I used it through the process of this course - and therefor how you can use it in your life as well

1. Quantum mechanics is the study of the infinitely small universe we live in and reveals to us that “reality” is little more than relationships.

An atom, the most basic unit of matter that makes up all chemical elements. It also makes for a great metaphor for us to process our “human-ness.” Its nucleus and surrounding electrons give us a vivid picture of the interrelatedness of the 5 dynamics that make up a human being.

Our XQ, TQ, and EQ make up our “inner self.”

Our NQ is the “outer self” that serves as the vehicle for our inner self to engage the world.

Our SQ is the critical relational component that is so necessary for a human being to be whole.

An IRL example of how this model can help keep you growing and moving forward as a human.

There’s a lot to cover, so let’s get going ...

Classical physics is a collection of theories that has existed for hundreds of years. It describes many aspects of nature at an ordinary (macroscopic) scale, However, it is not sufficient for describing them at very small (atomic and subatomic) scales. Enter quantum mechanics. 

ScienceDaily describes quantum mechanics as "a physical science dealing with the behaviour of matter and energy on the scale of atoms and subatomic particles / waves." (If you want more you can check out Quantum Mechanics for Dummies by LondonCityGirl. If you're insane, you can check out the Encyclopedia Britannica's entry on quantum mechanics). The history of quantum mechanics goes back to the first years of the 20th century and was fathered by, among others, Albert Einstein.

For more than 20 years, I’ve been enamored with quantum mechanics (and chaos theory, but that’s for a later module) and one of the reasons for that came about as I was reading Margaret Wheatley’s 1992 book “Leadership and the New Science.” Wheatley says this about quantum mechanics

This module is about relationships. The relationships between purpose, our minds, our emotions, and our bodies The relationships between us and others.

And this is why I chose the metaphor of an Atom. It is one of (if not the) smallest physical partical in our universe - the foundation of everything we perceive and experience as physical. And it is comprised of subatomic particles, so in fact ... an atom is an expression of the relationships between its subatomic particles.

An atom is the basic unit of matter that makes up all chemical elements. Atoms are extremely small and are made up of three types of subatomic particles: protons, neutrons, and electrons.

The protons and neutrons are located in the center of the atom, called the nucleus, and the electrons are found in the outermost shell, or valence shell, of the atom. The number of protons in the nucleus determines the atomic number of an element and, therefore, its chemical properties.

Note: our model does not care about the number of protons in the nucleus nor does it care about accuracy around the number of electrons. In our model, there is one proton, one neutron, and 5 electrons. But for clarity, the key ideas so far are:

An atom is the basic unit of matter

It’s comprised of subatomic particles

Those subatomic particles are experienced only in relationship to other subatomic particles. In effect:

That’s about as deep as well go into the science, but I want to highlight the following.

For our purposes, we’re going to keep this simple. As described above, and per the pro illustration above, you see that:

Oh, hold on. There’s one more really important fact about the nucleus that will be good to know.

99.98% of the mass of an atom is comprised by its nucleus! (Hang on to that)

Electrons are subatomic particles that carry a negative electrical charge. They are found in the outermost shell, or valence shell, of an atom and are responsible for the chemical behavior of atoms. Those “shells” are also called “fields.” Electrons are in orbit around a nucleus, attracted to the positive charge of the proton in the nucleus.

To summarize what we’re going to need: The electrons of our model are five “subatomic” particles that only have definition in relationship to each other, and they are attracted to the nucleus

With this in mind, let’s circle back to our “quotients” and connect them to our atom.

This metaphor of an Atom REPRESENTS A HUMAN BEING. You ARE the atom.

Each subatomic particle represents some essential dynamic of YOU, and it exists only in relationship to the other dynamics.

At the “heart” of who you are, you NUCLEUS, is your XQ - your PURPOSE.

In the first electron field we have 2 electrons (dynamics): your TQ, or thought quotient, and your EQ, or your emotional quotient. These occupy the same field for reasons we’ll see in a moment.

In the next electron field out from the center you have your NQ - your NRG quotient (i.e., your physical energy)

Finally, in the third electron field out you have your SQ - your Social Quotient (i.e. your relationships)

So we have this:

This ☝️ is YOU!! And frankly, you are beautiful.

There is a lot we can do with this, but for now I’d like to lay out the basics of how this all works together to help you understand your purpose and accomplish it in ways that are meaningful to you as well as helpful to others.

Your “Inner Self” is comprised of 3 subatomic particles:

1. XQ | Your PURPOSE is the nucleus

2. TQ | Your THOUGHTS are the first electron of the inner electron field

3. EQ | Your EMOTIONS are the second electron of the inner electron field

At the heart of who you are is your purpose. We covered that at lengeth in Module 1. If you recall, the nucleus of an atom comrpises 99.98% of the total mass of the atom AND is what holds it all together.

This is a FANTASTIC picture of our XQ, or our PURPOSE! Our purpose makes up the core of who we are and is the “force” that holds everything else together. If we don’t get this right, everything else is going to be very difficult to move towards true fulfillment.

The more you understand your purpose, the higher an XQ you have. This is where your true strength comes from.

Now, revolving around our XQ (purpose) is a first electron field with 2 electrons: our TQ and EQ.

Our inner self.

This inner electron field is comprised of our thoughts and emotions, our TQ and EQ. Here we can see that our thoughts and feelings lie physically closest to our purpose, which I think is a fair picture of our inner life. How we align our thoughts and our emotions - our TQ and EQ - with our purpose - our XQ - determines much about who we are, how we are, and why we are.

This is critical for us to be able to live into the fullness of what matters most to us, to experience joy and peace, and to be able to have the foundation from which you can be helpful (impact-full) in the lives of others.

Now we step out one ring, to the second electron ring containing our NQ, or physical energy.

The global pandemic of 2020 (and following) has been brutal on outer selves. Our bodies have taken the brunt of many of our coping strategies we’ve implemented to deal with the stress of isolation.

Our bodies are amazing. They are the WHERE of where we are able to experience the world around us, to engage with others, to live out our purpose. We are also learning that our thoughts and emotions have actual and tangible effects on our body.

In any case, our body is the vessel of our inner life - and it is the buffer between “us” and the rest of the world.

Current research has also established that a healthy body - meaning one that is engaged and growing at all five levels we discussed (food, movement, water, sleep, and breathing) - contributes to a healthy inner world, or at the very least the foundation and energy to be able to address what is going on in the inner self.

At this point, we can see that our XQ, TQ, EQ, and NQ - which make up our nucleus and the first two of three electron rings - represent the fullness of

These four dynamics are critical for continuing to grow as a human being and to live into the fullness of who and what you were created to be.

But there is one other crucial component that brings us to the fullness of what it means to be human. Our ...

Our “other self” is just a way to refer to the person we present to others ... and how we engage our relationships.

Arlin Cunic on the verywellmind blog eloquently writes this:

Obviously (or not?) we present many different “selfs” to the world around us, depending on who we are with and what they mean to us. These are our relationships, and as we discussed in Module 5, they are a critical componet both of who we are as well as in our ability to live out our purpose.

It’s worth noting that when our inner world is out of alignment and/or we are in deep internal pain, hiding behind an “outer self” that looks “at our best” does more harm than good. Like the proverbial beautiful old oak that looks majestic and strong ... we will break at the first sign of wind (stress) if we are rotted out on the inside.

Which brings us back to

This is it! The metaphor of an atom lays out for us a way to comprehend the beautiful complexity of a human being, but hopefully more so to put it in a format that is simple enough to begin to take small actionable steps of growth.

My last offering to this point is going to be an example of how I use this model, and how it helps me conceptualize all the moving parts of “me” in a particular situation - in this case ... creating this course.

I’ll break down the writing of this course as an example of how I use this model.

My purpose in this life is as follows: I exist to inspire others to live enthusiastically. There is a lot behind the words in this statement, and they are deep and meaningful to me.

I have been working on building models to help people grow - starting with myself - for more than 2 decades. This expression of that journey, The Dynamics of Impact®, is something that lays underneath and behind everything I do, inlcuding working with humans, organizations, communicating, and more.

Having been laid off in mid-November, I was a bit lost. I was also terrified. Other than looking for a job, I wasn’t sure where I fit.

I have long wanted to share this model with others ... so I decided to create a course to share with others that are struggling to really find “themselves” - through a layoff, with the difficulty that the end of year can bring, or for any other reason.

The first few days working on this were miserable. All I could think about was how stupid I would look if this was lame. I could hear the voices in my head telling me that no one would ever take the time to go through this. It’s too confusing. It’s too simplistic. It takes too much work. I was overwhelmed.

WHAT I DID ABOUT IT

I processed through these “thoughts” with my wife. Got them out on the table so I could evaluate them. This took time and was uncomfortable AF. What I noticed was that behind those negative thoughts were OTHER negative thoughts. For example: When no one uses this course, you’ll see how worthless you are. You’re really not all that special.

So THOSE were the thoughts I needed to address. I had to remind myself that my value has nothing to do with how others see me or with how successful I am. For me, I find my value first in my faith, then my family, and out from there my friends. I am valuable as is.

So I got back to writing and creating

My emotions were all over the map. First excited about being creative, then so sad at my lack of creativity, then discouraged about all those thoughts of no one ever seeing this - or worse them not liking it. I felt angry at myself for how long this took. I felt vulnerable at the thought of putting this out in the world ... only to be rejected.

WHAT I DID ABOUT IT

Dealing with emotions takes a lot of work, both on the emotional level but also with your thoughts. Our emotions are reflections of what we’re thinking, so when I become aware that I’m feeling negative emotions, I try to slow down to identify what thoughts are behind those emotions.

In alignment with my newer, healthy thoughts (This will be special if for no other reason than it’s a reflection of you!), I allowed myself to feel good about the love my family and friends have for me. I also embraced an often mischevious sense of confidence that I am competent and this material works.

This was rough ... no doubt. I procrastinated a lot. I skipped workouts more than usual because I had procrastinated during the day and wanted desperately to make more progress on this course. And it was the holidays, so I ate sweets as if Dec. 26 was my last day on earth. Those sweets really helped (momentarily) with the anxiety and fear I continued to feel about not doing a good job on this work.

WHAT I DID ABOUT IT

First, I gave myself some grace (mental and emotional / TQ &EQ). I also got out in the garage and got a workout in. Not as many as I would have liked, but I didn’t quit. I also tried to drink less alcohol so I could sleep better.

What I am going to work on next is drinking more water and starting to work on a breathing exercise. I did poorly with both of these throughout.

Author’s Note: It is so easy to fail at physical health. And when you do, it is then easy to feel negatively about yourself, and then to put those negative feelings into negative thoughts about how much you suck. RESIST THIS TRAP. You are worthwhile as is. When you fail, remind yourself of that and try again. One of the things I say to myself come from the US Navy SEALs’ ethos:

I work towards this every day.

One thing that was difficult in this (building the course) for me is that it is a solitary pursuit for me. It was crucial for me to constantly go back to my XQ: I inspire others to live enthusiasitcally and this helps me accomplish that mission. I also kept in my head the image of so many people that have been laid off and the pain and struggle that they and their families are going through. Being able to help others through this difficult time is something I feel passionate about, and thinking in those relational terms kept me focused.

I also offer this course from a place of empathy with those who:

have been recently laid off

struggle with mental and emotional health during the holidays

My emotions were all over the map. First excited about being creative, then so sad at my lack of

That is one example of how I use this model to stay focused on my purpose and keep my thoughts and emotions as well as my physical energy in healthy (moving towards healthy) alignment. And then how, from that place, I worked to do something for others.

In this module we covered a lot.

What quantum mechanics is (high level) and why its insight as to the fabric of the universe being stitched together with relationships is powerful for us to look at our own life.

How an atom, the most basic unit of matter that makes up all chemical elements, makes for a great metaphor for us to process our “human-ness.” Its nucleus and surrounding electrons give us a vivid picture of the interrelatedness of the 5 dynamics that make up a human being.

How our XQ, TQ, and EQ make up our “inner self.”

How our NQ is the “outer self” that serves as the vehicle for our inner self to engage the world.

How our SQ is the critical relational component that is so necessary for a human being to be whole.

And an IRL example of how this model can help keep you growing and moving forward as a human.

You did! Your really did! I’m grateful you took this journey with me. And I’m hopeful that it will in some way be of help to you.

Next up, I’m going to show you how this model that you learned is a fantastic model with which to organize a team or build an organization!

I am still working on these ... WIP