An understanding of what thoughts are - and how they measure as a TQ

An understanding of where thoughts come from and why they are important

A simple tool to try to deal with negative thoughts

1. Thoughts are maps of what our brain experiences. They start wtih the earliest exploration of our own existence

2. Thoughts are physical and relational ... they even have weight! (though not much)

3. We build meaning in our lives via our thoughts, which makes them incredibly important.

4. One way to deal with negative thoughts is the pneumonic: Aware; Assess; Embrace and Replace

5. Our thoughts - positive vs negative - are measured or processed as our thought quotient, or TQ.

The OED says the following:

We all know this, but I think it’s worth pushing a bit further to really get our head around what a thought is (pun 100% intended ... with pride).

I think a better definition is as follows:

Thoughts are, in fact, contructs of our mind to map and understand what it experiences. And for every new experience we go through, our mind goes back, finds a thought that it can compare with and use as a frame of reference so that it can build a new map for this new experience.

Interestingly, thoughts are physical and relational. We’ll explore both in a momend, but first ... This video looks at the physical aspect of a thought, answering the question: How much does a thought weigh?

By physical, we mean that they have mass. Because they have mass, they are also energy. $e=m{c}^2$ If it has mass ... it has energy and vice versa.

If you’re curious why you sometimes feel tired after doing nothing all day but “thinking” or “reading” or “working” at your desk check out this stat.

To summarize, thoughts are physical and they entail energy. But of course there is more ...

By relational, we mean that no thought exists on its own. It builds off of something. It is a comparison of something we experience with something we know. For example:

Try this:

“Tell me about Moldova.”

What does your mind do (besides draw a blank if you’re like me)? Is it looking for something to compare it to? If it does “draw a blank,” it’s likely your mind has nothing with which to reference what Moldova might be like ...

This is what we mean by “thoughts are relational.” They always start and continue to exist in the context of other thoughts.

Practically, thoughts are the building blocks of our inner world and are the foundation from which we engage our outer world. Anything you do (conscious) requires a thought.

Thoughts have their earliest roots in the nervous system's map of itself (think of a baby discovering its hands). From there, our brain begins to build our thoughts by experience and comparison.

Every experience you have - something you feel, do, hear, say, have done to you ... all of it - is processed and compared against what you know and then contributes to how you compare and process your future experiences.

Obviously, these sources are limitless and of infinite variety for every person. Yet, each of these experiences have two definable qualities:

1. They can be good, bad, or neutral.

2. Their value is assigned by you.

Example: . A baseball is good to a professional baseball player. It is bad to the fan who gets hit by it in the stands. It becomes good to the fan in the stands as a treasured heirloom of a game they went to with their child.

There is a tangible reality of the ball to the fan. It hit them. It hurts. But there is also their thought about the ball that assigns it value and determines how they feel about it.

In any case, our thoughts are the physical mappings of how our brain experiences and makes sense of life.

Your thoughts create meaning. They determine “you.” Every experience you have - whether it’s something you feel, do, hear, say, have done to you ... all of it - is processed and compared against what you know and then contributes to how you compare and process your future experiences.

When people say “your thoughts determine your reality,” this is what they (should) mean. Going back to our baseball example: You can think “I will not be hit by a baseball” or “I was not hit by a baseball” all you want. Reality is ... you got hit by a baseball. HOWEVER, you get to choose what that baseball and/or the event means to you.

Let’s look at some ways you might “think” about being hit by a baseball.

Figures ... bad things always happen to me. I’m such a loser.

Oh no ... this could be really bad. I’ll have to go to the hospital. I will have crazy high medical bills. I’m going to be ruined! So what if I got this stupid autographed jersey. I hate baseball!

OMG ... everyone is going to be staring at me! They must think I’m a loser for not being able to get out of the way. If only I wasn’t so slow!

Wait ... I’m on the jumbotron! This is awesome! AND I get a jersey?! Signed?! This is the best day ever!

That fucking hurt .... damn. Oh well, glad it hit me and not the 2 year old behind me.

In each of these situations, you are the same. The impact of the baseball is done (barring any unseen internal damage). The only difference is the connections that your brain makes and the meaning it gives that event. Those drive different emotions and behavior.

Let’s take a look at why we need to “deal” with our thoughts?

It is important that we do not fall into a habit of “just letting our thoughts” run their course.

1. Your ability to live into your purpose is inextricably bound to your thoughts

2. You can’t control what happens to you. You can only control the meaning you give it and how you respond

From both experience and scientific research we know that positive thoughts help you feel better and be more likely to do something positive in your life. On the other hand, negative harmful thoughts will make you feel worse and be more likely to do things that negatively impact your life.

There are so many ways to deal with negative thoughts and multitudes of books, websites, and other resources to help (I’ll note some in the Reference setion that I like). Whole branches of psychology - “positive psychology” - deal with just this. However, I think there are some basics I see in common with all of them:

What negative thoughts you are thinking? We likely have numerous thoughts each day that are negative or condescending that we don’t even notice becuase we are so used to them.

Writing them down is a great way to capture them.

What type of negative thoughts are they? Amy Morin in her TEDTalk “The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong” categorizes 3 types of negeative thoughts, or “destructive beliefs”:

1. Unhealthy beliefs about ourselves

2. Unhealthy beliefs about others

3. Unhealthy beliefs about the world

When we identify what type of negative thought (belief) we are wrestling with, we are more able to idenitify a proper positive thought to replace it.

EMBRACE

the reality that these are your thougths currently ... but do not need to be your thoughts indefinitely.

the fact that - however you came to have these thoughts - you now choose to have them. This means you can choose to change them

REPLACE

This is the hard work of swapping out those negativve thoughts for thoughts that embrace your value and empower your purpose.

Thus, our thought-quotient, or TQ, is a “measurement” or a ratio of our negative thoughts to positive thoughts. For many of us, this is sorely out of balance in the direction of our negative thoughts.

In this module, we’ve looked at:

Thoughts are maps of what our brain experiences

They are physical and relational

This is important because our thoughts are what build meaning in our lives

We need to engage our thoughts to make sure they don’t run over us

One way to deal with negative thoughts is the pneumonic: Aware; Assess; Embrace and Replace

Our thoughts - positive vs negative - are measured or processed as our thought quotient, or TQ.

Editor’s Note: Remember, there will always be negative thoughts to battle. Give yourself grace and treat yourself with compassion.

Next up: EQ - how our emotions contribute to an authentic life.

FWIW, I hate exercises. I want to consume knowledge, learn, and move on. This is one way I avoid dealing with things that are difficult.

1. Take a few minutes to be aware of your thoughts - how are you thinking about: yourself, your life, others, the world around you?

2. Take a minute to reflect on your purpose - that thing that you were created for in a way that is uniquely accomplished only by you. It’s likely this will be more difficult.

3. What negative thoughts need to be replaced by the healthy ones?

Want to boost your mental health? Take a walk

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